the ten commandments of battlegrounds

1. Thou shalt not leave your very kind and self-sacrificing PVP healer to get ganked by that rogue. Those heals you are getting did not magically appear from no-where. You do not have a guardian angel who follows you around and stops you dying, that bubble was not a direct gift from a divine being - well I am really quite divine but that isn't the point. Look after me and I will heal you, if you do not then I will bubble and let you die.
   
   
   
2. Thou shalt not call me a n00b because I didn't help you with a pointless objective - usually that would lead to us losing, I like winning too much. If you want to do something pointless I can suggest a Rubix cube as a very good alternative to PVP?!
   
   
   
3. Thou shalt not hide up a slope or behind a tree and go make coffee, unless of course you make me one at the same time. I am not wandering away from my screen to get nuked by a Gnome Warlock with pink hair, not even for a caffiene buff and since I didn't neither should you.
   
   
   
4. Thou shalt not ask me to rebuff when I am getting my ass torn to shreds by a Fury Warrior. I mean really? You think it might be an idea to help me?
   
   
   
5. Thou shalt read battleground changes in the patch notes, not wander blindly into a battleground and expect someone else to explain it. Unfortunately it is not a requirement of WoW to be literate, it amazes me how many people have managed to level to seventy without any knowledge of the English language.
   
   
   
6. Thou shalt give me buffs, and Mage, you know that table thing? Make one, you are still a vending machine. I do not expect to have to jimmy you like a coke machine! I am sure you don't want me to stick my large pointy stick in your coin slot, so make me a table, dammit!
   
   
   
7. Thou shalt not assume because you have Season Two Shoulders that you are a tactical and strategic genuis. They are a bunch of pixels, they did not increase your intelligence, oh how I wish they had but they clearly didn't. Please Blizz, can there be an IQ requirement for Season Four Shoulders?
   
   
   
8. Thou shalt not drag a battleground on longer than it needs. Y'know, I drink a lot of coffee, I'm a girl... I need to pee! I also have a short attention span, stalemate just makes me think about soft-furnishings, make-up and whether I should really buy that sexy underwear. If it get's really bad I start considering what to make for dinner or thinking that the pile of ironing is starting to look like a better prospect. Please do not make me iron as a viable alternative to battlegrounding!
   
   
   
9. Thou shalt learn that I don't want to hear you QQ because you got ganked, your guildmates ate your socks or any other such purile rubbish. If you don't have something prudent to say in /bg, simple, don't say it. If you have time to type that much inane garbage then you need to get out of the battleground, take your twaddle to /2 where inevitably you will fit in just great!
   
   
   
10. Finally and most importantly, Thou shalt not leech honour. I have many, many words for those of you that leech, none of them, probably, repeatable on a blog. The whole point of WoW is to work for your gear, for your prestige. Leeching just makes you a pathetic munchkin who thinks shinies are more important than earning them. Take off your purple-tinted glasses and play the game.